The Animals and Me


I am having a lot of trouble with animals at the moment.
We have a cat called Marly. She used to be a relatively calm and stable cat, but recently she has taken to clawing at my feet when I walk past her, and putting her teeth on my skin any time I get close. It is mysterious to me why a cat that was once so tame has taken such a disliking to me.
To make matters worse, on my way to work this morning a dog tried to attack me. Admittedly it was on a leash, and the owner immediately stopped it from getting near me, but the look of venom in its eyes as it was going for me was enough to put the frighteners into anyone.
I often wonder why I get so much grief off animals. Perhaps they are jealous of me, and the fact that I have an opposable thumb. Perhaps some animals are dependent upon me, and because of their beastly nature can only exhibit that dependency by biting and scratching. Perhaps it is just that they are not human, but a lower form of life, that is feral, amoral, and beneath standards of behaviour you would expect from polite society.
I envisage a day when we send our cats to the the cattery and I have no more animals in my life. Would you like one of them? We have three. Any assistance you can personally offer in deanimalising me would be gratefully appreciated. Perhaps when all the animals are gone I will have some peace of mind, and will be able to enjoy the company of others without baleful interjections and submoral attacks from our aminal companions in society.
I have a horrible feeling I would get a lot further without animals stymying my progress every night. Let the dawn of an animal free existence break!


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